Unspoken Loss: Confronting Taboos Around Mental Health and Suicide

In keeping with PRMS’ mission to support the greater behavioral health community, we are proud to support our partner, SAMHIN, and its mission to support mental health awareness and assistance among South Asian communities by featuring as a guest blogger, Dr. Angela. As a volunteer with the South Asian Mental Health Initiative and Network (SAMHIN), she shares her experiences with the stigma surrounding mental health and suicide in Desi communities.

Personal Reflections on a Tragic Event

More than twenty-five years have passed, yet the events of that time remain shrouded in silence. The tragedy was never openly discussed – not at home with my parents, not at school with teachers or counselors, not even with neighbors, despite the proximity of the family involved. They were first-generation Indian-Americans, much like us.

It seemed as though everyone was unwilling to confront the profound loss of life, its intentional and shocking nature too difficult to articulate. It was as if avoidance were the chosen path, as if turning away would somehow erase the memory.

I recall those days from my middle school years, with my older sister navigating high school. We resided in an affluent community teeming with first-generation Indian-American families, their outward appearances of beautiful homes and manicured lawns masking deep-seated struggles.

The details remain vague. A junior at our local high school had died. It was a sudden and unexpected death. The circumstances were not disclosed. Rumors whispered at the bus stop revealed the grim truth: he intentionally succumbed to carbon monoxide poisoning by starting his car in a closed garage. This was not an accident; it was a deliberate act that marked my first encounter with suicide. The questions swirled in my mind, unanswered and bewildering. How could this happen? Was it a mistake? Was it an accident? The unspoken hung heavy in the air.

The Need for Open Dialogue and Awareness

It left me with so many unanswered questions and so many confusing thoughts. And yet, I could never ask my parents about it. The barriers preventing open discussion loomed large in my own household. The lack of emotional dialogue fostered a culture of avoidance as our coping mechanism. Our shared silence became the way we navigated the aftermath and sought to move forward.

With time, memories surfaced of encountering the deceased boy’s cousins at the bus stop. They never made direct eye contact. They never looked happy. Perhaps they were living in a cloud of guilt, or replayed in their heads the constant, “What if’s?”

Reflecting on those unsettling times as I have grown older, a sense of confusion, loneliness, and fear still lingers. It was my first exposure to the complexities of mental health and suicide, a journey I faced in solitude. I remain puzzled by the reluctance within certain communities, particularly South Asians, to address issues of anxiety, depression, and suicide openly and candidly.

Encouraging Mental Health Discussions

In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, there has been a surge of child and adolescent mental health problems. Yet, some families continue to turn away from the truth. They opt not to engage in difficult conversations or acknowledge troubling signs, perpetuating a cycle of denial and avoidance. Drawing from my experiences in General Pediatrics, I witness this phenomenon frequently, especially among the South Asian population.

Through increased dialogue and awareness, I aspire to see a shift towards destigmatizing mental health discussions within Desi communities and fostering a culture where seeking help is not only accepted but encouraged.

If you are interested in joining SAMHIN’s mission or have questions about the organization, please contact Dr. Vasudev Makhija at info@samhin.org. To learn more about SAMHIN, read Dr. Makhija’s guest post on the PRMS blog from 2016 here, 2021 here and 2023 here.

To learn more about the superior psychiatry-specific insurance program and comprehensive services offered by PRMS, click here.